- We have three children, aged 7, 9 and 12
- We have talked about the privileges and responsibilities that revolve around independence as they grow old.
- This has helped them gain the independence they need as it gives us the opportunity to trust them.
I have grown in the generation of Kidchkey kidsListening to “Come home when the street lights are lit” while I was pushed from the door in the morning without water bottles in my eyes.
While I think this approach leaves much to be desired, Incredible freedom allowed this type of childhood It also has its benefits. Independence, responsibility, and problem -solving skills, besides belief and joy to understand what to do with yourself as a child, were invaluable, in my opinion.
When I became a parent, I realized wanted to give my children as much freedom as possible as much as possible.
We create scaffolds about independence for our children
I share my parents’ typical concerns about safety and ability when it comes to my children. For this reason, our family has created scaffolding about the independence of our children. Both age and ability.
For example, we would do Let our children play out In our yard, starting about 4 or 5 years old, provided we believe that they would not wander in the neighborhood. From there, they can walk to the house of a nearby friend or in a corner shop and build a bike around our neighborhood – in the park, library or an ice cream shop, among other points, up to the age of 10.
We started these trips with them, letting them lead the way to family exits. We will see if they were looking for cars before crossing a road, could only pay competently in the store, or know the exact rules of driving a bike on the road. After seeing that they could do these things successfully, they were able to do them themselves.
Even with our preparation, it does not always work well. Once, our older baby went to the store and was short with money. She was embarrassed, but taught her a great lesson to consider taxes and handling an unpleasant situation. After all, this is one of the points of This exercise in independence for us.
Our children gain privileges along with responsibilities
We also consider the responsibilities of the impact they have on the independence of our children. Starting from the early (baby’s years), we encourage our children to help us with household chores such as laugy emptying, folding towels, cleaning ordinary areas and keeping their rooms clean. Eventually, we have them to move to do these themselves. They take over their laundry when they are 10 years old and are responsible for cooking family dinner one night a week around the age of 12 (with parental help as needed)
This is a trade. As they gain more responsibility, they also earn more freedom about things such as when they can have time on screen and what they can see. It is not exactly a title situation, but the combination of privileges and responsibilities contributes to the growing independence of our children.
Best of all, these responsibilities that they are learning to teach each of them important life skills and accountability. They definitely had days when our older children had no clothes they wanted to wear because they left by laundering for a little long. One result was that our daughter added a calendar memory for herself for Laundry Day (which is how I keep track of Laundry Day, quite strange.
I believe that ever -developing independence is an essential step in childhood.
We are lucky enough to live in Colorado, one of the only eight states that defends the “reasonable independence” for children, but I think every child can benefit from opportunities like this to increase their independence. One day, they will have to be able to live in the world themselves. How else will they gain confidence in decision making and the ability to manage ourselves in different environments if we do not allow them to make mistakes in a safe environment?
Beyond that, this balance between privileges and responsibilities strengthens our faith in one another as parents and children. Of course, it’s worth it, but it also has a great value for me to see what they are capable of and how much they can do. The learning opportunities they experience when mistakes occur, such as forgetting their responsibilities or abusing privileges, helping us collect skilled and safe children.
For me, this is invaluable.